Coming Around Again

Did you ever have a moment when you were struck by a truth that was so profound that you simply knew it would change your life forever?  And then you remembered learning this profound truth at some chapter of your life seemingly ages ago?

I am struck by such a knowing this morning, and it goes like this:


The emphasis this time around is on all the reasons, subconsciously held, that have somehow made us feel like needs were something that other people had and got met — not us.  Now, as I feel myself launching into a new phase of my life, I am forced to examine my life to identify those things that I want to be sure to include — those things that make me feel whole, safe, and comfortable.

As I ponder this truth and how it has presented over time, I wonder if one of my most persistent needs is the rhythm of attuning and re-attuning to myself.  And the building of trust in myself — the trust that I can be counted upon to reliably do this, in any situation I might find myself in.

Right now, one of the things I ache for is adventure.  Drilling down into this ache, more specifically, it is perhaps novelty that I desire.  More specifically still, a new territory to explore — more specifically, being in a place where I have an opportunity to use my five senses and something more to locate and attain material things, rhythms and systems that I need to feel whole, safe, and comfortable.  This journey — this process — is what I seem to be seeking.

And now that the empty nest looms large, my primary responsibility will be to myself.  There will be no real reason to postpone my pursuit of my personal needs — extravagant as that sounds as I think it.  Not that my children were ever a real reason for me to postpone my needs, though there might have been moments when that seemed true.

The people who have shared with me their stories and thoughts of late have helped me identify unconscious conclusions that I had drawn along life’s journey that (until challenged) stood in the way of self-attunement, and a healthy and balanced life.  These include, maybe I’m not worthy of having my needs met because:

  • I did something wrong.
  • my needs are unreasonable.
  • my needs are an inconvenience to myself or others.
  • I am somehow flawed.
  • I’m lazy, disorganized, imperfect.
  • my needs are just too much to deal with.
  • my needs are a threat to others.

And now, as I lay the foundation for my new life, I use these little gifts — shaping them into another form that sustains, supports, and nurtures:

  • I love and accept myself with all my needs, desires, and imperfections.
  • Regardless of anything I do or am, I have needs and they are normal.
  • It is safe to explore my needs and desires.
  • It is okay to reach for what I want.
  • It is okay to want more.
  • I am willing to do what it takes to care for myself.
  • Doing what I need to do to care for myself benefits everyone.

And so it is.

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