Currently Reading

Brad Blanton in Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life By Telling the Truth Pg 122: Unless a person experiences anger in the body and acknowledges the experience, the anger does not complete itself — does not discharge, subside, and go away.  When anger is expressed indirectly, in ways that are calculated to avoid the experience of anger, anger gets stored up rather than dissipating.  The experience of anger is converted to thoughts about the resented person, judgments, complaints, conclusions, and imaginary conversations.  Pg 123: So this is what happens with anger: as children grow, constantly overpowered, cared for, and controlled, childhood expressions of anger against stronger adults are punished, either overtly or covertly, or worse, condescendingly moralized about.  As children, we do the best we can to copy approved ways of dealing with anger to avoid getting punished for it.  The result, at least in our culture, is that most people don’t express anger directly.  It’s not that they don’t know they’re angry or that they won’t talk about their anger; they do and they will.  Most people, however, won’t express their resentment in person to the person at whom they are angry.  Instead, they gossip, complain, criticize, fantasize about telling the person off, and let it out in other indirect ways.